For from His fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. John 1:16

Wednesday, April 4, 2012


"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith,
who for the joy set before him endured the cross,
scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."
Hebrews 12:2

found in Google images

honestly, fixing my eyes on Jesus is really difficult at times. when i am warring with myself, i often question the strength of my beliefs.

who is Jesus to me?
does Jesus reign in my life?
what do i know for sure?

it is scary hanging out in such a dim place. yet, i find that it is me who is withdrawn from Him, not God who is distant from me. and i begin craving the times when i am on fire for Him, when i am aware of his very presence in my life.

i have screamed at God trying to feel in control.

all the while, knowing that i am blessed to be on this journey because of His sacrifice.

"It is God to whom and with whom we travel, 
and while He is the end of our journey, 
He is also at every stopping place." ~ Elisabeth Elliot

as i prepare my heart for Easter, i am reflecting on His truths and embracing more deeply what i know for sure. His birth, life, death, and resurrection mean everything.

God can handle our doubting, even our screaming at Him, and He loves us unconditionally despite it. God knows when we are plowing through the dim places. and He encourages us to let Him heal and refine us, instead of demanding our way. and, if we walk in his timing, we move closer to who he created us to be, we move closer to why He endured the cross.

"This is my body which is given for you;
do this in remembrance of me...
This cup which is poured out for you is the new covenant in my blood."
Luke 22:19-20

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